This is Ben Brownsword, co-director of the Tyler Problem. And I have to clear the air.
I am a terrible dead body. And when I say terrible, I mean just plain awful. Our crew was filming a few scenes the past week, and I was assigned as the role of dead body after the frequent absences of previous dead body Owen Ross. Smh. Anyway, my job was to be dropped by Rocco and Mike several times, which I took like an absolute champ. I wore a couple of huge hits, typical player life. However, after a while, I was panting like a fat kid on a run after being dropped so many times. Unfortunately, the camera caught my loud breathing quite clearly. That’s a couple of hours of filming completely ruined by me. As things look right now, my role is being recast.
In other news, Owen Ross is a film truant. Never there, and always has some convenient excuse for going missing. Some examples include:
“Sorry guys, I have wrestling.”
“I passed out at the doctor’s today.”
Just nonsense like that. Really killing the crew’s morale left and right. We considered kidnapping a family member of his to let him know we meant business, but the idea was vetoed after much discussion. Next time; however, something will be done.
Lastly, Music Trivs is a farce. Apparently, just because someone (me) is a couple months late with a few permission slips they have to be banned from Trivs altogether. Such a sham. Also, I’ve noticed Mr. Alan has developed a new habit of “not hearing” our crew’s answers, then letting other crews take the credit when they just yell out the answer we gave. I am starting to smell an inside job. Who is pulling the strings? Here are the odds-on favorites:
Jimmy King (10 to 1) – Jimmy has been sneaky since Day 1, but he’s no cheater. A true believer in the Constitution and the rights of Americans at heart.
Marc Sheehan (6 to 1) – “Hey Ben, why would one of your directors be sabotaging your own crew?” Let me tell you why. Marc is also directing and starring in another movie, and the man is a snake. He is trying to pit the crews against one another. Also, him and Mr. Alan plan their outfits, so who knows what’s next?
Kody McCann (2 to 1) – Lord knows what this man has been up to. Already an alleged song Shazamer, he could easily have bribed Mr. Alan to “miss” our answers. He’s a very, very dangerous foe. Gotta watch your back around here.